And no I’m talking about lame concept of having your mind be your happy place.
As a person who suffers from an extreme case of anxiety, let me tell you – you absolutely need a particular place as your own.
For me, it’s always been two contrasts. I either get lost in a secluded spot. Or I go walk in a crowd where I find absolute anonymity.
More often than you think, you need to be alone in a safe place and I’ve got several of mine I visit on the right occasions.
When you’re in your happy place, you get to reflect back on what’s been nagging you in the back of your mind. Having a silent hour to yourself will unlock way more solutions than you would debating your problems with several people with different viewpoints.
Why is that?
Because you find clarity. It’s your own decision you need to make after all, and only you know what you really want.
So, here’s what I want you to do:-
👉 Go out for a walk. Really think where it is you want to go
👉When you’re there. Plant yourself in the best spot and just look around. Don’t think. Just feel if you’re finding that sense of tranquility
👉Once you’ve confirmed your happy place. Keep visiting it. And never tell anyone where it is.
Happy Birthday to me!
🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉
I consider it a part of my personal growth to dole out this traditional celebratory video right when the day started 🤗
I’ve always felt that birthdays should be where the person is made to feel special. After all, it’s the one day that is distinct about you.
Over time, though, I realized I put too much stock on my birthday, and it became more of a disappointment due to my overreaching hopes than a day for me to enjoy.
Until last year, I used to wait right from 12 am to see who all wished me on Facebook, and would wait it out until my close friends would text me.
But not this year. I’ve come to the realization that trying to feel special ends up making me feel the opposite, when I don’t get wished by many people or when someone I thought would definitely wish me doesn’t wish at all.
The whole thing sounded so stupid to me, that I’ had an epiphany of sorts.
I made my day be just that – My day.
Now, I don’t have a care who remembers my birthday or not, it’s important to me that I make myself feel worth it. ⚡
My happiness is in the little things, so I focused on those aspects that livened up my day.
And on my birthday, I had something insanely mundane planned – but it made me feel happier than any party or gift would have.
It might sound pointless, but to me this was a very big accomplishment of my self-worth – that I deemed myself worthy, free of external validation.
What I want you to do is this:
👉 Remember your loved one’s birthday – a simple Happy Birthday and a couple smiley faces go a long way in livening someone’s day up.
👉 Think of just one thing you’d really like to do on your birthday and make sure you do that when the day comes.
Before you start breaking down in tears over my supposedly upcoming death – or, in case you don’t like me, your cheers of delight – I’m not dying.
Or I am, I don’t know when it’s going to happen.
But I do know that if I die the conventional way (not getting blown up, shot, stabbed, maimed, or get a heart attack after getting stung by a bee – yeah, that’s the worst one), then I want the things I’ve got planned to have happened.
When I was a kid, I never thought of life as a cycle that kept repeating each day from school/work to house chores. I had this idyllic outlook with wide-eyed wonderment.
And you know what? That’s a good thing to have, because when you die, you won’t be thinking of those boring hours in the office, you’ll be thinking of the times where you were living.
But since we live in the frame of mind of “stop living in a fantasy”, when it comes to being larger than life, we stop dreaming – which kills you in a way.
For me, though, dreaming is what keeps me going day by day, and it is how I carry on my personal development.
I’ve got it all in my mind (taps forehead like a know-it-all) – lifestyle, travel, business, achievements, the works.
Even you can have this style of thinking; you’ll be surprised how exciting living can be when you give it the perspective of death.
Now, enough of setting it up; here’s a list of things I’ll be doing before I die.
Note: I’ll keep on updating this and scratching stuff out. So, when you see it not being updated anymore, then I’ve kicked the bucket.
Travel
Visit at least one country in each continent
Visit Spain and Italy (These are the big ones for me)
Visit space (or something close like an anti-gravity simulator)
Go on a solo trip across any country
Swing at the edge of the world
Bunk in a hostel/motel
Roam the streets in a completely unknown city late at night
Spend at least a day with a person I just met during travel
These words have been immortalized for good reason. They speak of one of the greatest truths in the world – you don’t achieve anything easy.
What you should remember, though, is that those thoughts you had long ago will still come true. You only need to wait.
The reason why people give up on their aspirations is due to their thinking process. They decide that, because things aren’t working out how they wanted them to, it’s not meant to be.
There’s nothing wrong with accepting something isn’t going to work out and to change your outlook, but you should remember that how you think does determine where you get to.
After all, you started out toward your goals with one thought in mind, and that was whatever you wanted at that time. When you give up on that, it’s only because you thought you couldn’t do it.
We’ve talked about dreaming for more, and having the right thought process counts toward that.
If you keep that one thought in your head where you say “This will happen one day”, then there’s nothing stopping you from doing just that.
You had that thought because you felt you could do it – once – so who’s to say now it’s not possible? Only you, that’s who!
So, remember that what you have thought of – even if it was decades ago – it will become a reality if you keep that thought fresh in your mind; to revisit every time you think it might not be possible.
In this way, you are ultimately the product of your own mind, and if your thoughts say you can do it – then no one earth can deny it.
I’m not saying your problems aren’t important, or that you’re not unique in any way, but what I want you to know is that it’s a great thing that you want more.
When we’re growing up, we don’t stop to think about what we’ll be like in the future, not really. We have inklings, ideas, but nothing concrete.
It’s only after we’ve become the people we are now that we gain perspective over who we want to be.
There’s nothing wrong with being late to the party; you’re here, that’s what counts.
Alternatively, if you’re still at that sweet stage in life where the world is still open for you to make decisions, then remember you have the luxury of making the most of this.
What’s really important, whether you feel you’re late or early, is that you have something to shoot for.
The people who have aspirations to go somewhere will always find themselves where they want to be.
It’s all about waiting it out until you find your sweet spot. As long as you have the aspirations needed to reach the point where you feel your goals will be met, you’re good to go.
Greatness is achieved when you feel you have it. No one can tell you you’re great if you don’t feel it yourself; it’s a feeling you need in your bones – the validation is only yours to give, no one else’s.
This self-reflection can’t be reached if you don’t have the will to achieve it. For that, you need to want more, to have that feeling of determination where you say “yes, I will get there someday”.
So, remember when you’re feeling as if you could’ve been something more and never got there, as long as you have the drive to try further, you will get there. No one can stop you achieving that Greatness, except you.
No one help you achieve Greatness, either, unless you’re willing to believe you can get there.
You haven’t faced life until the thought of uncertainty has crossed your mind. When we’re young, the world feels like ours to take. There’s that invincibility you feel because everything is straight ahead with no regrets or missed chances weighing you down.
Inevitably, you reach the point where nothing seems to be going your way. You get to the point where you see others reaching far and beyond while you are looking up at their achievements; it feels overwhelming, it feels like failure.
But what if I told you, you are where you’re meant to be?
Success shouldn’t be measured by how much money one makes, or what position one is at in their employment. It is about accepting you are doing the best with where you have gotten.
We’d all like to make billions in money. To have the kind of success that can be seen by our peers and be acknowledged – That doesn’t really exist.
It doesn’t mean you should resign yourself into thinking you’ll never be as good as you want to be. Because it just might not be in your fate to be someone you are not.
There will always be someone who rises higher than anyone else, and there will be always be those who remain where they are. This is because everyone is where they are supposed to be.
If you can’t climb higher, then run as far and as fast ahead where you stand.
You don’t need to fall relentlessly because something is out of reach. Some people are simply born with the ability to climb, while for others it is how far they can reach from the ground that matters.
For you to understand success, you should capture it from wherever you are, not wherever you might reach.
Remember, whether you are a runner or a climber, we might not be born the same way; we might not die the same way.
What we all share unquestionably is that we are all born to live.
We’ve all been done wrong at some point, from a minor annoyance to gut-wrenching betrayal.
When you’ve been hurt by someone you trusted with all your heart, the pain can be shattering. What’s left behind are the pieces of your once-firm bond; this will feel impossible to mend.
It’s easy to destroy a foundation that took years to build. Creating something takes time, effort, and most importantly, trust.
A simple word or an act can annihilate everything your relationship stood for: it’s that fragile.
Mending your broken heart is an herculean task, there’s no time limit for this sort of thing. We move at our own pace, what may take a few days for one person could take decades for another.
When it comes to the matter of being hurt, the process of grieving takes different forms for everyone. Recovery may feel daunting, but it is a necessity for you to move on in life.
Most of us never get the opportunity to make amends, most of us need to live with the hurt we’ve been inflicted with. But in unique circumstances, you may find an opportunity to make amends.
It is during this when you have the chance to do something that may seem impossible : To forgive.Â
I understand, when you have the person that inflicted so much damage to your trust coming back and seeking forgiveness for the actions, you want them to feel the remorse rather than simply state it.
It may have taken everything you had to repair your emotions and move on, you don’t want a reminder of your worst moments creeping back into your life. It will seem more satisfactory to inflict the same hurt that you once felt rather than forgive.
But that’s where you would be wrong.Â
Our emotions are the best of us, it is what makes us human. However, it is our ability to move past these overwhelming emotions and seek rationality that defines our growth.
There’s so much more for you to gain by being forgiving than the momentary pleasure you’ll receive by being vindictive toward the person who’s wronged you. It won’t take long before you feel the claws of regret latching over you should you decide not to forgive.
You aren’t born as a vengeful person, time and tragedy has made you so. It’s also time and healing that will bring out the clarity from within you. This is the clarity of having a clean slate.
I’m not asking you to overlook what happened to you, I’m asking you to realize what you will gain by being the best who you are. The rage and despondency will give way to peace and humility.Â
You will be strong if you forgive. You will gain peace of mind. You will be better.
And without realizing, you’ll find all will be forgotten.
A person who has never experienced any hardships has no clue how to gear up for the worst. Some people face the twists and turns more so than others; it’s natural to feel you’ve been cursed with tribulations.
Success, Happiness, Peace have all evaded me in my own personal experiences. I’ve had to claw and dig through a mountain of pain and ridicule to uncover some semblance of personal achievement.
But I don’t consider my ill-fated experiences as unjust sufferings. I consider myself blessed to have had these trials to face.
And so should you, if you happen to be in a similar situation.
Those who have suffered are the best equipped to carry on unflinching.Â
It may take you years, or decades, but each time you are knocked to the ground, you’ve gotten right back up. Each time you’ve learned not to repeat your mistakes. The despondency or absence of hope has felt lighter in impact with every passing predicament.
You are stronger for every time you’ve been hurt.Â
Where once you fell, now you stand firm. Where once you wallowed in despair, now you pound your chest with resilience.
Happiness will come. This is a privilege you will receive at some point down the line. You need not worry here.
Your hardships are the blessings that will get you there.
And when you reach that moment of success, you’ll be standing on the remnants of your previous hardships – They were the steps you needed to touch the sky.Â
So every time you feel like you’ve been dealt a bad hand, smile and take this hardship into stride; it will make you who are supposed to be.
We move through life in search of someone – anyone. For most it’s the search for a partner to settle down with, for others it’s someone who truly understands them.
A Friend can be both.
Before you find that special someone, you have the company of your friends. It doesn’t need to be more than one person; one friend who sticks by you is worth thousands more than people who leave you when you need help the most.
We’re truly beings drifting over to an uncertain future, but that doesn’t mean we have to do it alone.Â
With your comrade(s) by your side, nothing in life will feel too foreboding. When you’re free from the shackles of solitude you never get the sense any mountain is too high to scale, or any horizon is too far to conquer.
So go on out there and set sail in this vast, often scary world; your brethren singing songs of glory next to you will accompany you till the ends of the seas.
Sadness is an emotion we’ve all felt; some evoke it, others feel its crashing presence for the first time.
It can turn into despair should you make sadness a habit. I know how that feels. Ironically, the one feeling you want desperately to separate from yourself ends up becoming your only friend.
Those nights when you lie sprawled on the ground-feeling undeserving to place your tattered body in the comfort of a bed-those raspy breaths leaving your body one flicker at a time, a tear falling down the sides of the crinkled corners of your eyes – I know them all too well.
I might not know how to solve the dilemma that’s brought you this desolation, but I can tell you how to escape the despair it’s summoned.
We feel trapped by our despondency, yet we hold onto it as a crutch during trying times. What people suffering from depression fail to grasp is that their state is exacerbated by their inability to hope.
Really think about it.
If you were to have even a semblance of desire for the better, you’ll have your escape hatch. I realize it’s easier said than done, but all I ask is for you to keep that one shining possibility in your mind to battle the incoming storm of despair.
Hope isn’t for the weary, it’s for the brave.
So what if things seem bleak now? They won’t be if you keep that burning desire of hope roaring like a great flame. You feel as if despair has taken you over, then destroy that despair with the power of hope.
What remains will be you: The person who deserves happiness.
Saim Cheeda 